Be Realistic with yourself

  

         I like to think realistically about the situations I find myself in and the situations of others that I encounter. And sometimes, that realistic view can offend others or irritate myself. I've been living in Houston almost 3 years now and the only time I've seen my family is when I've went back to Detroit myself to visit. I have heard talk of coming down to visit but only one no, two have actually come. My realistic view on this is that I'll NEVER see any of them again. That's my mom, sister, brother, father, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

        I don't see that view as a negative one. I see it as truth. My father retired sometime last year and I know he had got on a plane and went somewhere since then. But not to Houston. This IS very depressing. But you can't let something like that hold you back. Well, I try not too. My moods are up and down. I could be feeling good about a situation and my day could be going swell. And then, I'll get home, have a talk with my mother and feel bad as hell. And its not from anything we talked about, its because I can't see her beautiful smile. Same goes for my father. My brother and myself would go over his house every sunday and kick it. Now almost every sunday, I'm sitting on the couch depressed.

        But, I say once again, you can't situations like that hold you back from living and enjoying life. I'm starting my own family so it kind of takes the weight off the situation. But not really. Because my kid will only be around one set of grandparents. He/she won't be able to know my parents, siblings, and other family like I'd want it too. Its really fucked up but I chose this life and that's what it is. I have to be real with myself and the situation I'm in.

         The Queen is younger than me. She was born and raised in Houston, Texas. I, as you know was born in Detroit, Michigan. Two totally different worlds. She was raised in a dual parent home. I was raised in a single parent home. So just from those few facts you can glean that we have totally different ways of thinking. And we have a LOT of heated back and forth dialogue due to those factors. My realistic view on this situation is that after a while, she AND myself will realize that we can learn from each other. I think that when I tell her things, she takes it as a "brow-beating". When I'm really trying to put her up on game because I have a bit more experience at this thing we call life. When she tries to tell me things, I have to realize that she has a different view on things due to upbringing and lack of experience. That's just how it is. You have to adjust and roll on from there.

That's all I have for now. Its Sunday so I want you all to have a Great week.