It's like the war of the roses going on in my house- Jay-Z

I wasn’t raised to be a dog ass nigga. My mom wouldn’t let me be mean to anyone. And even though my dad has his faults like all of us, He never hit my mother. I’m just not that guy. But, there are times and situations when I want to lash out and pop people in their mouth. Mainly my woman. But I refuse to let myself become that guy. I do love her. And as I’m sitting here typing, she’s sitting next to me on the couch fresh off another argument, trying to fix the tv remote she broke mad at me. At times I wonder if she ever gets tired of going at it. I know I do. I have been here since the 1^st day she told me she was pregnant. I have bent over backwards trying my absolute best to please her. And still, she is combative and ready to go off at any moment. When we go at it, I try and put in my head that “she’s just pregnant”,
“it’ll be better when the baby comes”. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIID! The way things go between she and I don’t know if I’m going to come home and the deadbolt is locked. I just don’t fucking understand how someone can see you putting forth the effort and the person on the receiving end can shit and piss all on that. During these last 9 months, I have done a lot of things that another woman could never get me to do. I haven’t got any side pussy either. Work, Home, Her. 9 months of that. I don’t have but one friend here and I’ve been to hang with him 3 times. For me that's a major accomplishment.

Now I’m not going to play the game where the story is one sided. I have my faults like all other men.  One major thing, I don’t like to be questioned. And she’s a “question-er”.  A lot of questions she may ask, I don’t have the answer to. And that’s a frustration point with me. Also, I don’t like the way she talks to me. It’s always “smart alek”, “matter of factly”, combative kind of speech. I HATE that shit. I be ready to pop her ass right in the mouth like my mom used to do me when I got beside myself. But I’m not that guy. I’d rather take it all in and clown you when it’s over. In relationships, people grow together and they learn each other. I been with her 2 fucking years and it’s like she ain’t learned shit about me though. When we talk, the feelings and views she has of me makes me think she really feel like I’m a “ain’t shit ass nigga”. Not a good feeling if you want to spent your life with someone. Not a good feeling if you’re less than a month away from having a kid.

I feel like at times we both play the “Blame Game”. She says it’s me. I say it’s her. Neither of us will admit wrong. I point out things that she may say or do that will make mad and I’m the one with the problem. She may point out some shit I did or said (or didn’t say) and I say she’s immature. It’s back and forth. And I’m so tired of it. I really want to get along and raise this seed of mine. That’s all I fucking want. Just to get along in a peaceful household. But I don’t know how to get along if she’s dead set on going against me. There is a weak harmony in our relationship. I say weak because it’s always something to disrupt that harmony. I AM NOT PERFECT. NOR IS SHE. But I think we need to realize that ain’t no fucking nobody in this world gonna have our backs like each other. I realize it, but with the arguments it puts doubt into my mind. ”. Not a good feeling if you want to spent your life with someone. Not a good feeling if you’re less than a month away from having a kid.

I’ll rap my lil post up now and go back to sitting here in silence. Everybody have a nice day(s).

Little Eric Green will  be here in 2 weeks. 

Getting there

        I’ve been taking things day to day. Because I’m becoming to notice that plans and planning don’t too much for me. I won’t say “don’t work’ but, they don’t work out how I plan them. So I’ll still plan things and just hope that they work out in my favor. My little son is almost ready to some out. He’s moving around like a mad man in a straight jacket. I always say it’s so cool but I don’t think she feels the same way. I can tell she’s ready to get this pregnancy over with. All the back rubs, feet rubs, and belly rubs can’t change that either. The other night she woke me up talking about she had heartburn and it was so bad that she started to have a hard time breathing. So my panicky self gets all ready to take her to the E.R. The funny thing is, I ran to get ready to go and I’m fresh, ready to go but I went and got her some too small pants to go out in. I gave her some pepto tablets and she was good. I’m happy she didn’t go though, because I didn’t want to see NO parts of that E.R. copay.

   I am really anxious about the baby still. Not a bad type of anxious, but the good kind of anxious. Like anticipation of your 1^st dance with a pretty woman. Or the anticipation of a good friend coming to see you.  I wonder how he’s gonna look. I hope he looks like me in the face but I hope he don’t get my hair line. She and I were at the mall earlier and sat next to a lady whose son came out 3 months early. He was now 2 years old. I felt for her. She was really open about her situation and positive. She had a little book she showed us with pictures of him in the hospital. I didn’t get her name but I could tell she was a really strong woman after going through having a kid early. I’m not sure why I actually told you that, but bear with me. Like I said, I’m still really excited and just as much anxious.

   Earlier this week, I had to go get registration for the car and outside the State building, I saw these 2 White guys sitting at what looked like a racist lemonade stand, pushing pamphlets talking about how bad and “hitler like” president Obama is. They even had pictures  of him with a Hitler mustache and crossed eyes. It kind of made me mad but at the same time I had to laugh at them both because they were probably just some volunteers that weren’t getting paid to sit out in that 115 degree heat. I did ask them if they were with a white supremacist group. And I also mentioned that they couldn’t do that anywhere in the city of Detroit and not expect a riot to break out. Living in the south, I’ve noticed how very much different white folks act than they do back home. Here its “power in numbers”. Up there, its, “let me sit my white ass down before these niggas rob me.

   On another note, that Jay-Z and Kanye LP dropped today. I thought it was going to be some of the best music to come out in the last 5 years. And it let me down. There is absolutely NOTHING in hip-hop right now that even remotely sounds good. I hoped they could have changed that. Maybe if i would've spent my 10$ on like regular people then i would appreciate it a bit more......Naaaa....Its a really rushed album. But, im still gonna play it. Maybe it'll grow on me.

 

That’s all for now. Have a good weekend and have some fun for your boy.

Busy living.

Lil Wayne let out a mixtape yesterday called "Sorry for the Wait" and that's how I feel as I'm typing. I AM sorry I haven't been posting. But anyway, My baby is ready to come out. i can tell. The nigga moves ALL night. He makes his mom extra hungry even after she just ate. Nothing's really new. My cousin Chris got married yesterday. I was the cheapest wedding Photog they ever saw too. I took some really good pics. too. I've been working on beats too. For a dude that just started, i'm not too bad. Check it out. Its just a hobby. My cousin says I should try and sell some so I made a lil comercial. I posted it on youtube.
BEATS FOR HIRE

I just wanted to say a lil bit just so you all don't think i abandoned ship. I'm just busy living.

Lets talk music

              There are a lot of new artists trying to make a lane in music right now. I wanted to talk about a few. 1st off there's Freddie Gibbs from Gary, Indiana. This cat is nice. Like really. He grew up in the hood and you can tell from his raps that he ain't trying to go back unless its to visit. I'm talking about HUNGRY. His raps are filled with pain and experiences that only someone from a bad neighborhood can feel. He sounds southern but reps the Midwest HARD. I have his mixtape Str8 Killa No Filla. Its realer than the dirt on your shoes. If you want to check it out here's a torrent link....Freddie Gibbs Mixtape. 


          The next dude I want to speak on is Frank Ocean. Now, he's no Bobby Brown but he gets down. I'm really hard on R&B dudes because most of them today can't sing or they gay acting like they singing to women. But this dude Frank Ocean is official. Well, at least his music is. He puts you in the mind of Ryan Leslie with the way he sets up his songs but his writing sounds original to me. His production is flawless. I have an EP from and here's the link to get it yourself Frank Ocean Ep Nostalgia, Ultra. 


         Elzhi out of Detroit isn't new to me but a lot of people haven't heard about him so I'll put him in the new category. But anyway, He's the most slept-on rapper in the game right now. There are a lot of rappers in Detroit and out of all, he really captures the city. The Dope, The hoes, The hood, The Life. He recently reworked Nas's Illmatic and since that album is held in high regard as a Classic, its hard to rework something like that. But, he killed it. Every song is a good one. Here is a link to check it for yourself. Elzhi-Elmatic He also has another good mixtape called "The Leftovers" The Leftovers. 






Ok well, I'm at work getting paid to blog. Let me get up and get paid to supervise. 
Hope you like the Music. Feedback is cool too you know.

Pops Came to Visit!

         So, remember when I was complaining about no one comming down to Houston to see me? Well, My damn daddy came down here over the weekend. And i had a BLAST. He did too. He rented a COLD ass 300 and we rode all around the H like pure bosses. When i say a good time, i mean a good time. I tried to take him everywhere that i like to go. And he didn't complain or talk no shit. I finally got a chance to host one of my parents. In a nice spot, with food to eat, lights on, all that fly shit. I think he liked Houston but I doubt if he'd want to move here. He said the black folk are really funny acting. Same shit I been saying since I moved here. Coming from a 90 to 80% black city, we looking for some type of comradery. He didn't really feel it. He liked my boo thang. Said she was cool. They spent some time together while I was @ work friday night. I think she liked him too. We always crack jokes about each other's parents so I'm just waiting for her to clown since I always have ammo cause her parents live here. I took a few pictures and I'll post them a bit later.

             That's really all i have to say today. I know I've been really quiet but I'm in grind mode right now. And all I'm thinking about is Work, money, bills, and my baby boy. I have the means to post all the time now so I'll really try to get on here and talk.

Everyone have a good week.
Always remember to think realistically AND positive.



Here are a few pics from the time we spent......

ITS A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    
     Tuesday, I found out that I'm having a son. That's right. A little E.Green pt. 2. And I don't know if I have the words in my vocabulary to tell you how happy I am. When we were at the hospital getting the Ultrasound, a flash of my playing catch w/a little boy came through my head. And when the nurse told us, I teared up a bit. The Queen was crying like she had just seen Jesus but that's understandable. This is the all time coolest thing I've ever been apart of. A SON. That's all I keep saying to myself. A SON.

     I'm going to name him Eric Green. I don't know if I should make it Jr. or the 2nd. Guess the queen and I will talk that out. There are so many thoughts in my head about this whole experience. Will he look like me? Will he be athletic? Will be a quiet kid? Will he catch on to things fast? The questions never stop. I'm really excited about it but I also have to be realistic about it too. This world we live in is very downtrodden and I'm going to have to safeguard him from a lot. Raising a child isn't cheap either so I have to figure out what I'm gonna do to make some more money. My mom didn't have a lot to work with raising me so I know how it'll go. She made the best out of the hand she was dealt. That's the same thing I'll have to do too.

         My brother is going to be an uncle. My sister is going to be an aunt. My favorite aunt is going to be a Great aunt. And my parents are going to be grandparents. That is some real shit. My whole mind set is going to change. It has too. My life is dedicated to him and her now. (In that order) E.Green the realist is about to transform into E.Green the FATHER. That is priceless. Most of my adult life I have been searching for happiness. I think this little boy is going to be my true source of happiness.

Let me go and get ready to go home. Thanks for reading my thoughts.

Tuesday is the day

  
   Hey long time no see....

Since my life is oh so uneventful, I haven't had really much to write about. Later on today, I finally get to find out what the sex of my baby is going to be. At 1st I wanted a girl but I'm not tripping either way it goes. As long as it has all its parts and its healthy. That's really all I care about. The Queen and I are on the same page about that. I was talking to my cousin earlier and he asked me if I had any dreams that might give me any clues as to what the sex would be. I had to laugh because in all my dreams, if a kid of mine is around, it has on a all black ninja suit and I can't see its face. That's too funny. My own dreams can't help me out with this one. So, I'll see later today.
What do you think it'll be???

   Saturday, I slept the whole day away AGAIN. Going to sleep @ 11am and not waking up till 8:37pm. To make the best of the night, the Queen and I went to see Thor. It was ok. But they kinda played the love story up more than they cranked up the action.

  Sunday we went and "made groceries". (Southern Term for grocery shopping) and went over her brother's house. Like I said earlier, Uneventful.

Well, Today is tuesday...what are you going to do with the rest of your week?