28 is GREAT!

        

             Well, I'm finally the BIG 28! It was a long bumpy road to get here. And what's funny is that the bumps aren't even half way over. I can remember having a hard time with life when I was in my early 20's and thinking that the closer I got to 30, it would get easier. Well I know some 30 year olds that beg to differ. So knowing their plight and my own, I would be totally wrong to "Expect" things to just turn around and get better. But, I don't. I do on the other hand expect Myself to effect changes and MAKE things better.

          I had a pretty good birthday weekend. It was a "broke-ass" birthday but with the money I did have, I went and got meat to bbq, some good medicine, and went to my apartment complex's pool and the queen and I pitched up a party. I wasn't at a 5 star restaurant with servers clapping and singing happy birthday. Or at a club with a hand full of dollar bills. I was at home, bbq-ing with my woman chilling at the pool. On some realness, I wouldn't trade that for anything. It was REALLY fun.

          Due to my upbringing, I never got to celebrate my birthday until I was old enough to go out and hangout myself. And I always had these high expectations on how a birthday should be. Well, I was very wrong. I don't need to do anything extravagant. It was more fun sitting pool side and eating "E.Green's world class bbq" than being up in somebody's loud club looking at all the drunk folk. I feel like I rang my 28th year in with a loud sonic BANG. You should have seen the bossy look on my face the whole time we were out there. You would have thought I was on an island resort.


 I say all that to say this, be happy with you DO have and what you CAN do.



How was your weekend?

"I could've easily put her in the headlock".

        
      I can't put on airs or front like having a baby isn't the coolest thing I've ever been a part of. And I can't front at the same time that dealing with a pregnant woman is fun OR easy. Because its no beach party. In these last 3 months I can't put a number on the times I've been cussed out, disrespected, and had my feelings destroyed. An angry woman will dig as deep into you as a BP drill in the ocean floor.

   Sometimes I try and figure out what I did or am doing to get her going. But I can't. Well, I'm lying. I know what it is but I don't think its SO big that it warrants a cuss out. Or a day long attitude. I've been told that a woman's emotions and hormones are all out of wack when she's pregnant. When I heard that, I thought they were talking about crying after UNICEF commercials. Or just crying a lot. Guess who was extra wrong?....

    These last few months have taught me valuable lessons about communication, humility, and outright self-control. There have been many instances where I could have easily put her in the head lock and just fell on the floor. But my self-control held me back like a best friend stopping you from fighting. I'm not going to say its easy either because its not. Its actually very hard to have self-control. But that power comes with maturity. Not age, but maturity. I know a lot of 40 year old dudes that don't have a inkling of self-control.

     Communication also has helped me. A lot. I use to feel bad if I couldn't cover a bill and would hold it in until I got the money to pay it. Just yesterday, I came up short and I called The Queen, told her the situation, and she was cool about it. Blew my fucking mind! I was holding the phone cringing after telling her cause I KNEW that she'd act a fool. But she didn't. That really made me feel great.

     Humility comes into play when we talk about feelings I may have about the things she may do or say when she's angry. I talk to her with tact. I don't scream, I cuss but I don't call her out her name. I HUMBLE myself. I use my calm, "after this talk we fuckin" voice. I think it works. Sometimes.

I use all those qualities or Powers as I like to call them, to keep our relationship going. Things my parents couldn't do. Some people say that being in a single parent home is bad for a kid. Well, it was. But, I have a perfect example of what NOT to do. Thanks mom! Thanks dad!

   Everybody have a GREAT week. And I'll catch up later.